Santorini

Ho hum. Set off from Heraklion at 9.45. (Note to Alan and Eileen: get rid of that horrible unsmiling travel agent woman: she gave us possibly the worst tickets you can get; right in the middle in the middle of the boat. We watched folk buying tickets at the door and getting window seats. Good trip though and we watched lots of people sleeping and talking in Greek on  their mobile phones.... all 2 ruddy hours of it.

I want to know why I get the passengers from hell. Rome to Athens I had an ADD kid in the next seat. Athens to Crete i got a person who didn't stop talking to her neighbour. Heraklion to Santorini I got a guy beside me who was conducting a probably travel agency business: in the two hour trip he must have talked on his mobile around 30 times, bounced about getting his computer out, talked to his agency at the top of his voice (because he was obviously trying to make them hear 200km away without a phone) and usually leaning forward and putting his arm over my seat. I was going to bop him on the nose but Liz did it first.

STEPS
Don't go to Santorini if you don't like steps... or donkeys... or cable cars... or people.

NOTE TO ALISON
We're staying at a place called Porto Fira Suites. Remember the cave accommodation you stayed in 5 years ago? That's now the changing room at Porto Fira Suites... heh heh.

NOTE TO DANNY AND SUZANNE
This is a rotten place for a boat as you have to get a donkey or cable car down to the place you last kept it. The smell of donkeys is ripe and if you leave the boat in the same place for too long it will turn into a tourist resort mainly because I've noticed people taking photo's of anything that moves.... Honestly: this bloke pushed me out of the way because he saw a wee lizard and wanted to take a photo.

NOTE TO STEPHANIE
All (and I mean all) the people in Greece are fat. I'm not talking about normal fat; I'm talking about faaaaaaaaaaaaaat where a 24 year old male has his stomach falling down to his knees. Most of the beautiful woman in Greece look as if they are pregnant (which is probably a good thing because a pregnant woman would look exactly like a normal Grecian). You think I'm joking?

It's not all easy though. We're off for a meal (at quarter to eight at night) and we're going to have to climb at least 2 thousand steps to get to a place which serves food. Brilliant idea isn't it. We'll be back after a 3 thousand calorie meal and will have lost at least 2 kilos.

Off to lose weight!!

This is a picture of Liz having an awful time in Santorini.

Wait for the next one where we take a 6 hour tour on a boat where Liz is goingto be seasick.

Saturday, 8th May

Crete

After our eventful last couple of days we are in hay.

Second day here and it’s been utterly marvellous.

Alan and Eileen met us off the plane at Chania Airport at 11.20pm. Drive to their house takes about 40 minutes from the airport. Sitting out on the balcony with the most wonderful view Alan says something I haven’t heard for a long time. 12.23am: would you like a wee dram? Nah: course not!!

To a restaurant in a wee place called ????? Dunno: all Greek to me where they all ate calamari, Liz ate sardines, and I was sick all over the cheesy things (just joking: I put up a wall of olive oil and vinegar jars so I couldn’t see the stuff. Four hours later we were in another restaurant in Almarita to celebrate my birthday. Greek dish beans and tomatoes for me with Liz devouring mousaka. The local red wine tastes like sherry so Alan drank it all.
Today we drove over to Palsomethingorother on the other side of Crete. Great trip taking about an hour. Passed through Floria and Kandalos which were the towns of a German atrocity during the last war when the Waffen SS (I think) murdered every villager in both towns because the Greek resistance had killed a couple of Nazi officers. Saw the caves where the resistance hid.

Another lunchtime meal with Alan sitting right in front of me eating some kind of deep fried fish (called rather unadventurously “small fish” they also have a dish called Great Beans!) whole…. disgusting Perthian git. I had a swim in the Libyan Sea (ruddy cold) while Liz and Eileen went shopping.

At the moment Alan is cooking some kind of interesting meal while the rest of us sit outside listening to the birds and not feeling guilty.

Having just broken an expensive Tuscan ornament in our room I have decided to agree with everyone in any argument started by Alan and become an Etruscan nun. Alan is cooking tonight’s meal so I’ll be watching very carefully for any foreign chemical objects on my plate.

Thursday, 6th May 2010 Athens

Well that was fun
Up at the crack of dawn. Breakfast at The Hilton which was cold and absolutely rubbish. First to arrive at Rome airport in the hope that there was a place on the morning flight.
The riots have stopped because of the three deaths of bank personnel caused by a fire started by a rioter.

Unbelievable screw-ups. We were at check-in 285 as listed on the board… unfortunately they were checking folk in at 175... first in line there as well.

Told there were seats and to go to the ticket office. They said there were no seats. Back to check-in, where they said there were…. and back to ticket office where the ticket girl started to cry (this could have been caused by my slightly hysterical raised voice). The supervisor phoned and said to go to check-in immediately as there were seats. We did. The check-in girl put the suitcases on the conveyor belt and gave us boarding passes for…… the evening 9 o’clock flight. She then told us there were no seats left. Liz started to cry.

Back to ticket office. Girl phoned again and told us to go back immediately. This time got the check-in supervisor. Boarding passes given and we finally got on the plane one hour late. We were first in line in the morning and last on the plane. Plane took off with at least 10 empty seats that we could see!

Pleasant 1 hour 45 minute flight. Greece is an hour ahead of Italy for those few who are interested.

Down to collect our bags. Waited until the conveyor belt stopped half an hour later and we were the last folk there.

Aaargh…..

I started to cry!!!!

Bugger Athens. We’ve managed to get on a night flight straight to Crete sans suitcases arriving at 11.00pm. Eileen and Alan will met us at Chania tonight.

We’re sitting in The Sofitel Artemis Bar at this moment (5.00pm). Liz has bought some lipstick and toothpaste as everything else is residing .…..probably …. in Norway which was the flight being checked in at the same time as us.

I’ve got a theory that all these so-called ruins aren’t actually ruins. They were built like that right from the beginning. Edinburgh’s Disgrace isn’t unfinished at all: it’s a direct copy of the finished Acropolis as it was supposed to be… and the Greeks have been laughing at the world ever since.

At the moment sitting in The Olive Tree at Athens airport. Fabulous view of the hills and watching aircraft taking off every two minutes or so. Had our first Greek meal of meatballs for me and salmon for Liz (mummy).

Quelle twerp

With absolute brilliance we managed to arrive at the airport this morning only to find that Greece is on strike.

Here at the Rome Airport Hilton we are bored out of our skulls.

Probably won't get a flight tomorrow morning and will have to wait until 9.00 at night for the next one.

Will stay at Athens airport hotel then onward to Crete.

Rats

Roma

Rome is a large city in Italy a very long way from Brisbane. The people here speak foreign. They also don't spell it proper.

They have ridiculously small spiders

So far we've had one pizza, one spaghetti and one minestrone soup. Today we had spag, minestrone, a beer and a coffee. That cost 25 oro. Yesterday we had the pizza, a coffee and a half litre of house wine. That costed 55 ora.

At this rate we'll run out of euro's by next Friday.

We are now (at 16.24) going to have a bottle of 6 oro wine.

Tomorrow Liz will be eating octopus in Athens.

I will be in Belgium!

Hong Kong

Nine hours later and here we are. Just had a burger king (hungry jacks) and now feel sick.

That one is at Brisbane airport. Decided not to post the ones here as we look knackered.

Off - sort of

In an hour we're off to the airport. Slight worry about the managers as the brekies were a disaster: probably due more to my being rubbish at delegating these days.

27 hours of flying: yip bluddy ee.